Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we often expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is require. — President Thomas S. Monson
I am the worst when it comes to being patient. I have been my whole life. I had this grand plan of what age I wanted to be married at and how many kids I wanted and by what age! I had that ‘dream life’ all picked out in my head. Boy was I naive. (My dream life I am living now, is waaaaay better than the dream life I pictured as a youth. <3)
As I spent all last month teaching my youth about Christlike attributes, I spent a good amount of time reflect on patiences. That is one attribute that I sincerely need to work on. Not just patience in every day life and circumstances, but in the Lord’s timing as well.
I am a planner. It’s how I manage and control my anxiety; knowing exactly what is going to happen and when. So when I make a plan and things change, it really throws me for a loop and I start to panic. Over the years I have learned to step away, breathe, and reevaluate. But when it comes to my plan not matching up with His plan, that’s when I start to feel like a failure, like I’ve done something wrong, or that I’m not worthy. I know I’m not the only one who has or is feeling this way.
Something happened this past week that really threw me for a loop. Something that is forcing me to really put all plans aside and trust in the Lord’s timing and His plan for us. I have prayed and pondered on a subject for quite some time now and silence is all that I’m getting. Silence is not a bad thing. Silence to me, means that I am not ready for the answer. Which is hard to digest. But in the last week, I have started to feel oddly at peace with this silence. I am ok with it. I am ok with not knowing the answer. In the last week I have strongly felt that I need to focus more on the here and now. I need to live in the moment with my kids, my husband, and myself.
In the last week, as I have been striving to live in each moment, I have felt more at peace than I have in a while.
Each night before I go to bed, instead of praying for all the things that I think I need, I spend that personal prayer thanking Heavenly Father for specific things that have happened during the day. There is nothing more humbling than reflecting on your day and realizing how much Heavenly Father has blessed you with, or realizing where in your day He sent a tender mercy.
I have learned over the years not to pray for patience. Instead, I pray for peace in my heart. I for peace and comfort to know that I can accomplish what I need to and to know that I can do it.
If you struggle with patience as much as I do, no matter what kind of patience is required…. Take a step back, breathe, and reevaluate the situation. Pray for peace and comfort to know that you can handle the task at hand. He knows you can do it and so do I! ❤