Four years ago today was a Saturday.
I slept in and then got up and got ready to go grocery shopping. As I started shopping I was getting sharp pains in my pelvis and lower that were making it difficult to walk. So I clutched the cart and leaned over and waddled my way through the store slower than I ever have before.
After I got home and put all the groceries away, I had a little voice inside my head tell me to take a nap. So I waddled upstairs and gladly took a nap.
After a few hours I woke up and waddled downstairs, still alone as The Hubs was at work. So I got a snack, put on a movie, and settled in on the couch to work on editing photos and my blog. I pretty much stayed there till The Hubs got home and while he made dinner.
Bettwen 6-630pm I swear I went to the bathroom 5-6 times. It was ridiculous! At 630pm I went to the bathroom again and there was a rather uncomfortable pop. Like a gas bubble but in the wrong spot. But since I was going to the bathroom, I couldn’t tell if my water broke or not.
I called my sister-in-law who is a nurse and she didn’t know what it was like to have your water break. She has had to have hers broken. My mom, she woke up to gushing water. So I was on my own. My sister-in-law said to give it 30 minutes and see what happens. Almost exactly 30 minutes later, my contractions started, and pretty hard. Like 3-5 minutes apart and can’t talk through them hard.
I was only 38 weeks and 3 days. At all my appointments leading up to this day, they said, ‘when your contractions start, wait an hour and then you can come in.’ So we waited an hour. I sat on a stool in the kitchen while The Hubs made a quick dinner. While I attempted to eat between contractions and time them, he ran around straightening up the house and gathering everything we needed. After an hour, my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and even harder. We got in the car with a barf bucket and called the hospital on the way in to town. It was t.h.e l.o.n.g.e.s.t 20 minute drive e.v.e.r!!!!
I did my best to waddle as fast as I could into the hospital between contractions. As we walked through the doors of the labor and delivery wing I had another contractions. The nurses were standing there waiting for us to take me to triage and make sure my water had broken. But as I semi squatted and moaned through that contraction, the nurses just stared. As it finished and I relaxed, one of the nurses said, “I didn’t like that look on your face. Let’s just get you admitted.” So into our room and went and into a hospital gown I went.
My plan was to go as long as I possibly could without an epidural. When the nurse checked me I was already at a 7. (So water broke at 630, an hour and a half later we left for the hospital 8pm, add another 30 min for the drive and to be checked in puts us about 830ish. So in so in about an hour and a half I had most it though most of my labor.) I don’t remember much at this point. The contractions were so hard and close together that I was having a hard time relaxing and refocusing between them. The Hubs was the one to make the call when it was time for an epidural and by about 9 the anesthesiologist was either being called or there. I just distinctly remember sitting on the toilet and screaming during a contraction (by the way… screaming doesn’t help! 😉 I know that now!) and the nurse frantically saying, “get off the toilet now and into bed the anesthesiologist is here.”
Then it took f.o.r.e.v.e.r to get it started because I had to answer all the questions and like I said, my contractions were coming so fast that I was barely coherent and was struggling to answer them. I did the best I could to nod or shake my head while leaning against The Hubs chest at the side of the best so he could relay my answers.
Once the epidural was in, the pain started to subside a little. The problem, I was laying on my left side because that relieved some of my contraction pain because I was having back labor. So my left side was numb, but right side was not. On to my back I went and the back pain flared but the contraction pain was dulling.
I was finally able to breathe. I was finally able to relax. I was finally able to ever so gently push and moan through my contractions to continue to help relieve pelvic pressure.
Little Man crowned. He had a lot of hair. The nurse was sitting there telling me not to push while we waited for the doctor and played with his hair. (Weird right?) Once the doctor showed up there wasn’t much to it. I swear the epidural hadn’t fully kicked in yet because I felt a lot of pain as he was coming out. (Now that I have gone without an epidural, I know that it hadn’t fully kicked in.) I also tore pretty bad.
Next thing I new, there was this little squirmy boy on my chest with the longest arms and legs I had ever seen. 10:57pm. (Water break to birth, 4.5 hours.)
He never cried. They had to make him cry. They took him, cleaned him up, pricked him, weighed and measured him, ‘tattooed’ The Hubs arm with his foot print and swaddled him and gave him back. They tried to get me to feed him. I had nothing to feed him with. It hurt really bad to even try. They gave me a nipple shield. He just wasn’t interested. I was sooooo tired and worn out that I pretty much passed out and The Hubs snuggled him till I woke.
We spent Sunday and Monday in the hospital. We could have gone home Sunday night but I still wasn’t able to get Little Man to latch and feed him so we wanted to wait for the lactation consultant. We had started him on formula in the mean time.
Monday afternoon we went home.
The next 6 weeks are a blur and a hard time for me. Little Man wouldn’t latch so we went to bottles. I barely made enough milk to feed him so we supplemented. After talking to my two midwives that I had with Sweet Pea, it appears that I may have some form of PTSD from all the trauma I went through trying to feed Little Man. It definitely started to manifest itself as I was preparing for Sweet Pea. But regardless. I have learned that as long as a baby is fed and healthy, it doesn’t matter how it’s done.
So today, on his fourth birthday, I am so grateful for this energetic, kind, sweet and loving little boy who made me a momma!! We have a special connection and I know that Heavenly Father knew what he was doing when he sent him to us.
Happy Birthday Little Man!!